Private

 I feel unbearable pain. Because I can't see happiness in other's face. Because somebody doesn't go along as I want. Because somebody doesn't give respect and love that I need. Because somebody doesn't work as I instruct. It's more like I want to control over things and I name it as a love. It's like asking somebody to stay and taking control of everything else. It's not at all a right practice. They want to free themselves. Think about when you were young - You did the same to your brother. Certainly they deserve to do whatever they want. I deserve to do whatever I want. This is my life and I work independently. Why can't those people take this advantage. Who am I to stop their growth? Who am I to control them? Who am I to stop them from loving somebody else? I shouldn't check in to their profile without asking for the permission. Have you forgotten the basic etiquettes? How would you gain self respect when you don't do such things?

 Hello, I am writing it for the second day. It has not been such a bright day! Reasons are numerous, I am learning everyday to conquer a battle but I am getting more stronger. Sometimes, I feel that the life is colourful and it has different shades. I am probably walking through the throne so that one day I will be garnered with flowers. I am making my life beautiful by learning and unlearning things on my way.

 Why to search for a human for the happiness and companionship when you deserve to get it by yourself? See the more you search it outside the more difficult it would get. It is not present in a cigarette or a human outside.  It's us.  Think it like we as human provide the meaning to it. If I make meaning then it would make sense and eventually allow us to feel. I made a lot of meanings and it used to make me heavenly, Now those entities are gone, Those are variables. Why should I stick with them to find the meaning of myself. I am profound enough to find the meaning by myself, I might have to dodge around, But that's fine. I don't want to look back now. I am happy with what I have, I don't need a bunch of folks. Few even none, but I am happy myself. I enjoy time with myself and I have a tendency to work harder and don't allow myself to drain easily.